Are you trying to do religion or are you seeking to be a disciple of Jesus?

Read what C.S. Lewis has to say about the difference:

For you are no longer simply thinking right or wrong; you are trying to catch the good infection from a Person. It is more like painting a portrait than like obeying a set of rules. And the odd thing is that while in one way it is much harder than keeping rules, in another way it is far easier.

The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself. He is beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin.

From C.S. Lewis in The Joyful Christian [‘Putting on Christ]