Advance the Kingdom of God

Fear Not
Stand Still
See the Salvation of The Lord
Go Forward

EX 14:13-15

Did you get fruitcaked?

Best Uses for Fruitcake

1. Bury it in the back yard for future archaeologists to

discover.

2. Give it to your child for a science project.

3. Hang on to it to find out if there REALLY is more than

one fruitcake that's making its rounds every year!

4. Use it to hold up a broken table or chair leg.

5. Mash several of them down and use for mortar when

building a log cabin.

6. Use it as an exercise stepping block for step aerobics.

7. Donate to the Road Kill Cafe for a wonderful dessert.

8. Use them to pave freeways. Just place them on the road

and run a steamroller over them.

9. Use them as fillers to repair the river levees. They last

indefinitely and are so dense, water can never penetrate

them.

10. Last and probably least - try eating it. That's one way

to get rid of it!

Received from Joke du Jour.

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Soft-Handed Men

In Time’s past, when you shook hands with a man, you seldom encountered a soft, pliable hand.

Now, soft-handed men seem to be predominate.

So, what’s the big deal about that you may ask.   

Hmmm, well, as my hands have begun to soften because of my lack of manuel labor, I started noticing that I was encountering more and more American men who sported very few calluses on their hands.  Some say that the calluses have moved from their hands to their backsides.

I well remember the preacher man when I was growing up.  He believed it was important to press the flesh.  He would baptize folks on a Sunday evening and some how manage to be there to greet everyone as they walked out the door.  He was a quick change artist.  He believed in giving everyone a warm ‘goodbye’ with a strong handshake as we left.

He also made sure he gave your hand a good going over.  My mother often commented that she felt like her hand had been wrung out like a wet dish rag when he finished shaking hands with her. My dad never complained.  He thought that it spoke well of the preacher man if he could crush your fingers together.

Now I also understand that we no longer live in time’s past.  Well, I do slip back there occasionally.

I know, we must live in Time’s present.  But that does not keep me from wincing a bit when I shake a man’s hand and think I’m shaking the hand of a woman. You understand, I like shaking women’s hands but only when they are attached to the female person.  

Also, as time has slipped by I have noticed that a man’s word apparently holds little significance.  There are more and more men who can look you in the eye, give you their word and promptly renege on that word.  A man’s word - once described as ‘his bond’ - no longer seems to mean much.  Now, you can even sign a contract with 37 lawyers signing off on it, and it still means very little.  

So, is there a correlation?  Could be. Could be.

The cure: dig more post holes - by hand.  One of my greetings to men is ‘you are a gentlemen and a scholar and not too bad a post hole digger.’   It means that you are a well rounded man who can be trusted.